Si Phantom Menace

Usually, ayaw ko na may gumugulo sa utak ko. Ganoon lang talaga ako siguro. Kasi ako ung obsessive-compulsive na person at the same time burara. pagdating sa gamit ko sa sa bahay, ok lang na nakakaalat. Mas madaling hanapin ang nakakalat lang. Sa isang banda, pag ang utak ko ang nakakalat, ibang usapan na iyon. Sport nalang tayo sa labas!

Dumating si Phantom Menace sa buhay ko na parang bagyo. Biglang kaboom: ulan hangin. I was being blown to a hundred different directions. Nagkaroon ng landslide of emotions. The next thing I knew, it was a smorgasbord of feelings na; Magulo, addictive, insane, parang roller-coaster ride na may libreng cotton candy, guilt stricken, smile-inducing, intoxicating, stasis-causing, at kung anu-ano pa.

Inside this loony brain of mine, nabuo siya as the epitome of what is ideal. Ideal as in yung template ko. And um… yeah… for the highschool students out there, DREAM GIRL (pweh pweh! I hate the term) And take note, no one has ever come close to it ever. Ang ideal ko ay combination ng 26-taong experiences, aches, pagninilay-nilay, pangatngat ng kendi, pagbisita sa dentista, baggages, walang katapusang conversation sa telepono, rantings, daan daang nobelang nabasa, plastic balloons, halos isang-libong pelikula, at di mabilang na cases ng beer. Nabuo siya sa utak ko. At gabi-gabi nakikipag-sayaw ako sa kanya bago matulog. Umaasang makakakilala din ako ng ganoon…



Ideal Person Qualities version 1.0


1. Marunong o mahilig magsulat
2. Maganda (di masaya ang panget na ka-partner)
3. Can use like words like “thwarted,” “ostracized” and “forbade” properly.
4. Grammatically capable.
5. Successful at an early age
6. Younger than I am.
7. Likes PC Games and what-not.
8. Maganda ang ngipin.
9. marunong magbasa.
10. kumpleto ang mga daliri.
11. maganda ang boses.
12. Someone who digs the music I that like.
13. hindi mataba!
14. Can whip-up a storm and dance in its glory (until now hindi ko alam ang meaning nito, but it sounds cool).
15. Can carry a thought provoking conversation. .



… at parang Bingo na may jackpot na Oven Toaster, may nakakuha ng block out. Weird no? Three months ago nangyari yun. At ipinanganak si (say it with me) Phantom Menace… Phantom Menace… Phantom Menace…

For some weird act of fate, we became friends. Kung sino ba naman nakaisip na katapat ko ng station ung babae, I blame you for all of this.

But, surprisingly, I found myself making dumb excuses just to talk to her; distracting her, asking questions that I can even answer. And it was fun.

Panay na nga papansin ko dun. But, buti nalang maypagka-dense. Oo. Dense. Manhid. Kahit siguro maging isa nalang ang possible interpretation ng mga pinapakita ko (i.e. anger, happiness sadness and gloom), di niya pa rin magegets!



Sabi niya: “humble lang ako”

I say: “Dense”

Sabi niya: “ang kapal naman ng mukha ko kung if I’ll assume na ako yun..”

I say: “still DENSE!”

Sabi niya: “it couldn’t be me. I’m not the idea-personyl type.”

I say: “Dense and dense. Denser than any heavy metal element. Dense. Impenetrable denseness. Hardcore density”

Ok. So periodically tumitigil sa revolution ang mundo ko. Parang movie: darating ang si girl, mag-slowmotion ang lahat. Tapos ang lahat ng mga tao sa paligid at titigil. She flips her hair. Maglalaway si boy. Classic. Get it? O di ba? Parang bad-B-film.



EKSENA:

Ako: hm… so… um… musta?

Phantom: ok lang. Hey we’re going to a beach. Sama ka?

Ako: (without any hesistation) oo naman! Kelan? Mageeempake na ko!

Phantom: Ah really? Cool

Ako: (bulong to self) you are so cool…

Phantom: next week. I’ve scheduled na leaves for them.

Ako: (bulong to self not listening) marry me… come on!

Phantom: and malayo daw. Nakarating ka na dun?

Ako: (bulong to self and still not listening) we can have cats and dogs! Madami. Ilang dosena?

Phantom: earth to you? Haller? Ok ka lang

Ako: Ha!? (kamot sa kalbong ulo)



I can say that I miss her poison. Her venom. She moved farther from it all. It keeps me sane at times. I bet she can tame me, but I would not bet on it. I may run away if that happens. That’s another story.

I don’t know how long the friendship will last. But I do hope that it will. I enjoy it so much.

On the other hand, I might hire an exorcist to cast her away from my world. I’m a pussy. Believe me.

Oh yeah. She has a boyfriend. And they’re so much in love. Fooooey!




Coming soon…

The Phantom Menace II – The Confrontation